[ch. 5] post-trial, w/ evan

[asswipe]

[Before they head down to have their depression slumber party with Dazai, Veronica is going to approach Evan with a bundle of sheets in her arms. Which is, you know, a little odd. But, hm.]

... Do you want a hug?

[Might as well ask for permission since she doesn't want to freak him out more.]

Comments

[selfinserting]

[He looks towards her, swallowing thickly as he thinks about how to answer. He doesn't know what he wants, or what to do, or... God. Every word he says makes him feel like the tears are going to start again, and he's certain he won't be able to do so if Veronica embraces him.]

...I don't know. I'm sorry, I... I don't know.

[asswipe]

[Hm, bad. Someone save Evan.]

... It's okay. You don't have to know, but— But if you think you might need one, or you just want to talk... I'm here for you.

[selfinserting]

[A beat.]

Actually, if it's okay, can I ask a favor instead?

[asswipe]

[another beat, unsure.]

Of course you can... What is it?

[selfinserting]

If something happened to the role that helps people without a partner, or if there's some kind of limit to how many times they can use it...

[A beat.]

There's a few people I want you to, to look out for.

[asswipe]

[She opens her mouth to say "nothing is going to happen to you," but. Well.

She doesn't know that.

She can't guarantee that.

So what Evan gets instead is a very tired look and a minute nod of her head.]

... Okay. I can do that.

[selfinserting]

...Thank you.

[A beat.]

I also wouldn't say no if you wanted to punch Zelos, but. Up to you.

[It's a poor means of lightening the tension, but it's there.]

[asswipe]

[she snorts, humorlessly.]

I think I could swing that, sure.

[selfinserting]

[A half smile, though it's bitter and unhappy rather than anything else. Of course, neither of those emotions are directed towards her.

After a pause, though, he sounds more sincere.]

...If anything does happen, though - I know you can handle things here.

[asswipe]

[...]

I will if I have to. But I don't want to. I don't want to have to do this without you, Evan.

[selfinserting]

[That... makes something in his chest ache, and before he really realizes what he's doing, he's reaching out to take one of her hands in his own. He gives it a squeeze.]

...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... There's no reason to think I won't be okay.

[asswipe]

[Ah. She stares at their hands for a moment, blinking, and then... gently squeezes back.]

It's... It's not your fault. You have nothing to apologize for. If anyone should apologize, it's the asshole who got you into this situation. You're just trying to cover all your bases.

[selfinserting]

...Still. I didn't mean to, to worry you.

[After that gentle squeeze, he moves his hand back.]

No matter what, you're... You aren't alone, Veronica. I promise. You, you don't have to do this on your own.

[asswipe]

I told you, it's fine.

[And maybe he's right. Maybe she's not alone. But every decision she takes from this point forward is going to have a bigger impact than she'd like, with the number of remaining villains getting lower and lower. She doesn't think she'd be able to handle the pressure if she loses two friends in one fell swoop.

But she doesn't say this. Instead, she nods and sighs.]

... Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Just... Just tell me who you want me to look out for. It sounded like you had a list.

[selfinserting]

[He pauses for a long moment, breathing in. It's hard to quell the feeling that he did something wrong, and he doesn't know exactly how to address that.

His voice is as sincere as it is pained.]

...Yourself, first off. That's, that the most important thing, Veronica.

[asswipe]

[Truth to be told, he's done nothing wrong. She's overwhelmed and that has nothing to do with him.

His words give her a pause, though.]

... Don't worry. I don't have any plans of letting myself die, if that's what you're worried about.

[selfinserting]

...No, that's not what I was worried about. I know you wouldn't plan on something like that.

[But... How to say this?]

There's more to taking care of yourself than just not dying.