I... It's not that I think it's okay if I die. [is it?] I want to live. I really, really want to stay alive, but I—

[...]

I don't want to put my own life above that of those two just because I'm scared, Evan. It's too horrible.

[She doesn't want to be Heather Chandler, or J.D., or anyone else who believes it's okay to be cruel. She wants to try and do something right, for once.]