[ch. 2] monday, w/ magnus

[asswipe]

[Now that imminent death has passed and they've avoided keeling over in their sleep, Veronica will pull Magnus aside at some point during the morning or early afternoon. Everything from the investigation to the end of last night was kind of crazy, so...]

I don't know if you're busy, or— whatever. But if you have a minute, we should sit down and talk.

Comments

[asswipe]

Yeah. Let's... yeah.

[she's already have too many near death experiences. she didn't really need a +1? but anyway, she sighs.]

Okay, um. I guess I should ask if you had any arrangement with Ann, to make this whole thing less... [vague hand gestures?] You know, bad? Weird? All of the above.

[wearys]

[ like, mood. that is a mood magnus feels as someone who dies, like, weekly sometimes. ]

Arrangement like...? There's a lot of weird bad things here.

[asswipe]

No kidding.

[Everything is bad. Living in murderland is bad. Set them free.]

I mean, like... Taking turns sleeping on the bed, sharing information we have, plans for Thursday nights? If our lives are literally tied together now, we might as well trust each other.

[wearys]

Oh, right, yeah. I let her have the bed, and I don't plan on stealing yours, so don't worry about that.

[ it'd? be rude? ]

Ann and I never really talked about the other stuff, but it'd... probably be a good idea to, I guess? Not that I have much information, for the record. And my plans on Thursday nights tend to be sleeping and waiting to see who dies in the morning, how about you?

[asswipe]

And you're going to... sleep on the floor all the time? Isn't that bad for your back?

[Bed stealing is rude, but she'd feel like shit letting him sleep on the floor every day.]

Neither do I, but my fingers are still crossed for something useful to come up. [define "useful", though.] And so far? My plans are the same. So I guess we don't have to worry about one of us missing curfew.

[wearys]

Maybe? It's fine, I used to sleep on the ground all the time when I was homeless. And I'm dead, so when I get home and die again there any damage'll probably get fixed.

[ shrugs. ]

Right? It'd be nice if someone could just, who knows, drop a handy pamphlet on stuff we could use. [ like anything at all. ] Great, we're on the same page.

[ on the same page is an improvement for magnus since ann skipped to the page where she killed someone so. ]

[asswipe]

[s l o w l y blinks]

—Excuse me?

[DON'T JUST TELL HER YOU'RE HOMELESS AND DEAD AND MOVE ON LIKE THAT, DUDE.]

[wearys]

[ looks up to the sky. this keeps happening he needs to preface more conversations with this whoops. ]

Uh. Yeah, so... By the way. I was homeless for a couple of years after my mom died, and then on my sixteenth birthday I died and found out I was the son of a Norse god. Now I live in Valhalla, which is a hotel and whenever us undead types die there, we just come back. But outside of the hotel we just regular die for real. So. Yeah.

[ pause. ]

So how about you?

[asswipe]

[...]

I think I need to sit down and reevaluate how little my life does, in fact, suck. What the hell?

[wearys]

Sorry? It's fine, I'm sure your life sucks too.

[asswipe]

I'm not dead, though. Or homeless. Or the son of a god?

[wearys]

Yeah, but it's all about perspective, right?

[asswipe]

Do we really need perspective to know that dying is a shitty luck trump card?

[wearys]

[ opens mouth.

closes mouth. ] Okay, fair. I made a lot of friends by dying, though?

[asswipe]

... Friendship is important, I guess.

[wearys]

Yeah, see, it's fine. Not great, but could be way worse. Like this place, this place is way worse.

[asswipe]

[she huffs out a laugh, humorless.]

No kidding. This has to be a circle of hell.

[wearys]

I hope not literally, because that'd lessen our chances of getting out of here. But figuratively, yeah, this is some kind of lower level torment circle of hell.

[asswipe]

I definitely thinking figuratively. I don't want to be stuck forever as a character in someone's horror novel.

[wearys]

It already feels like we're in someone's shitty mashup of fantasy, sci-fi, and horror.

[asswipe]

Would that someone accept a formal complaint? Because I want out of this mess.

[wearys]

Maybe we can request a complaint box, with complaint forms that have star ratings. I'd give this place... hm, three stars for amenities, negative five for enjoyment.

[asswipe]

You're too kind. I'd give them zero for amenities and use the comment section to cuss them out.